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Not that you'd need to know or care, but it is my birthday
Today is my birthday. (Now, I don\'t want you to think that I\'m telling you this so you\'ll feel compelled or obligated to get me a present, because that\'s not the point of this column at all. I\'m not telling you that I prefer cash, gift cards are okay if they\'re to places I prefer to shop or eat - a list I happen to have on file for public viewing; call my office for details - or you can just give me whatever you\'d like, but it had better be in its original packing, because I don\'t want anything secondhand - unless its valuable, like and antique quilt or a glass Napoleon drank beer out of. I\'m not saying that all, just like I\'m not saying you can deliver those gifts to my office on business days between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. EST. Please don\'t get me wrong. That\'s not at all the message I\'m trying to convey to you.)

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